The first time you filled my womb was in Bali. Your Daddy and I swam and sang, gridded our bed with crystals, and called you in, with lightening striking the ocean all around us, thunder shaking the earth, you rode the raindrops into my womb. Five weeks later you left us, and we watched you float on a river downstream from us, while our hearts were breaking.
The second time you came to us, we loved you even deeper. We danced in the Californian sun and greeted the salmon as they lay their future generations down in pebbles and sand. You left us at 16 weeks, and we buried you in ceremony in a bed of forest moss, with an amethyst to protect you as you journeyed back home.
The third time you arrived, I felt your presence right away. Your blue spirit stayed only a short while, two weeks, and gifted me one of the most profound spiritual experiences of my life. You were loved, and your blue orb still appears around me in pictures from time to time, just to remind me of your love.
The fourth time you danced in my womb, there were two of you. You showed me visions of lifetimes passed by, and the very deep healing work I had ahead of me. Five weeks you stayed with us in the Costa Rican jungle, listening to the howler monkeys with me, filling my heart. We grieved your beautiful bodies when you came like a river of blood.
The fifth time you came, I was unsure if you would stay. Six months and here you are, and every time I look down at my blooming belly, I cry. My sweet babe, I am so grateful for you, and for the ones who shine on.
- Autumn Rose
Grateful for the opportunity to share my personal journey with #Ihadamiscarriage. This instagram platform is connecting wombyn who have experienced loss through pregnancy, creating a space to share, to grieve, and to remember that we are not alone. Check them out on instagram @ihadamiscarriage.