This is something so huge, that it commands my voice. And if you cannot find yours, then please find your ability to listen, your capacity to feel, and your full presence as you breathe. ME TOO!
I have never been raped, and I am SO grateful for that, but so many womban I know have. I have been sexually harassed, abused, and sexualized on every and so many levels. I learned how to store fear and shame in my womb from a very young age. I distinctly remember a boy in our grade one class who used to chase all the girls for kisses when the teacher left the room. That’s right, one of my first memories of intimacy with men was running away from one because his forceful nature was so so disrespectful and made me feel horrible and helpless inside, along with the 20 other girls in my class. I was five years old, and while I ran and he chased me, all anyone did was laugh.
This ME FIRST movement isn’t really about letting womban know they aren’t the only ones, we already know and understand this. Every womban and femme-identified person knows and feels that the goddess energy has been stripped of her power, and molded into this tiny, breakable, and tameable object in the eyes of our society and, ultimately, in our gender roles even today. We already know, and we hold each other in our circles and our ceremonies as we scream, cry, release, and heal.
MEN, this movement is really for you, for you to see, for you to feel, for you to know that this is not okay. It has never been okay. May these voices rise up in your heart and fill you first with sadness, with agony, with anger, and then finally, with forgiveness. Any time you are out with the “bros”, and one of them starts peeling away at the power of a womban, don’t let it just roll off your back. Please, please, PLEASE, do something about it. Say something. Stop this behaviour in its tracks. We need you to unite with us in this movement.
The next time a beautiful womban comes into your sphere, don’t compliment her on her outfit, her makeup, her hair. Instead, ask her what dream she is making a reality, how nature brings her to life, how her heart feels in these trying and truthful times.
The next time you are on a bus, and you witness someone yelling at their wife, crossing their girlfriend’s obvious boundary and level of comfort, or copping a feel from a stranger, please don’t just turn your head. Please stand up and support these womban when they need help. Please let them know that this behaviour is no longer being tolerated by the people of this planet. Please let them know that it is time for change.
The next time your girlfriend bleeds, honour her. Make her some tea and run her a bath with flower petals, massage her belly and her feet, and let her know that you see her and respect her in this precious and vulnerable time. And remind her that this time of blood is so so sacred, and that her beautiful womb is cleansing. Please remember that we all came to life from this blood, and that every single human on this Earth is because of these precious bleeding wombs.
My own journey to forgive and heal all of this trauma has been long, painful, healing, and a powerful time on this pilgrimage of life. I experienced the loss of four pregnancies before the long awaited and prayed for birth of my angel babe this year. You wanna know how I got there? FORGIVENESS. I had spirits show up in my dreams asking me to reach out to past lovers and say “I’m sorry and I forgive you”, with all of my heart. I screamed out the pain of my womb in grief circles. I prayed for the fire to fill the emptiness of my womb in sweat lodge. I purged the fear, shame, and sadness in Ayahuasca ceremonies. And I cried with my babe when he came roaring into the world, floating in on a river of this ancient and sacred blood.
And now I breastfeed my babe in public, in a field of love and protection. That’s right, I still have to protect myself. I want to be a living reminder not only that breastfeeding is natural, but that when my breasts are exposed, that it doesn’t mean that I am being “sexual”. That is a taught projection. And if a baby can come out of a naked womban and see her naked breasts as a very nourishing, nurturing, and safe form of love, than that man can relearn to see a womban in that same sacred essence. The womban hasn’t changed, only the perception of her.
We have a long way to go, my beloved tribe. And this day and this movement is a great place to start. If you are a man reading this, and you are guilty of sexual harassment, sexual abuse, rape, sexualization of womban, or silently allowing the continuation of rape culture as it happens within the walls of your awareness, I want you to know something. I forgive you. If you need to break down and have a good cry, please, please do. Acknowledgement is first what is needed. This all has been pushed on us, and passed down to us from our parents, schools, media. Our hands and hearts and minds have been filled with this programming, and it has robbed us of our truth, our respect, our power, our sacred sensuality and sexuality for far too long. It is ours to change and to transform into something new, something higher.
I know this is true. Every time I look into my son’s eyes, I see that everything begins in innocence, and whatever else is learned from there. I will teach him to respect womban, and that their beautiful and graceful Selves are a reflection of the primordial home we all came from, the one womb that held us so sweetly until we emerged into this life. The womb, our first home.
So yes, ME TOO. And men, if you have the courage, please share, so that we can all learn from this movement in ways of the heart: vulnerability, truth, healing, and love. Because, really, this movement is ALL OF US. 👁🦋👁
In love, forgiveness, and gratitude,
PS - This movement is not about womban vs. men, or gender equality, or hey I’m a man and I’ve been sexualized too so fuck you. If you are a man and that has happened to you, than you are closer to knowing what it feels like for womban than most of our brothers. I see you and I love you, hear this. But understand that this happens to womban multiple times a day, EVERY DAY. Let me say that again for the seats in the back, EVERY DAY!! If we focus our intention on the Mother Wound, where this ALL stems from, we can heal first this ancient wound, and ripple out from there. Thank you for being here. Raise your children with love and respect and they will walk in the world carrying that vibration. Have these conversations, please brothers. Let’s remember together, and unite in love, equality, compassion, healing, and responsibility.