What a delicious feeling to wake up again in my own bed, in my little blue cabin, surrounded by cedars and ravens and river spirits. My little family just arrived hOMe from our week long visit to Alberta, to be with family, and introduce our little babe to all of his loving lineage. It truly is an amazing experience to see your family get to hold your tiny babe for the first time, bringing a swell of emotions through my heart like I have never felt before.
Anytime I fly back and visit my roots in Alberta, I gain a much higher perspective of my life and my self. I see where I came from in such a different light. And from my new eyes as Mother, I see how much more compassion I have for each member of my family, loving them even more for who they are, and their inherent uniqueness.
As I walked around my Grandparent's home, the one they have inhabited for 60 years, it brought up feelings and memories like no other place. Every little detail and smell summoning the presence of my little self. The laughter of my childhood, the teeny handprints on the mirrors of my little sisters, echoing so deeply in my heartmind. It is equally eerie as it is beautiful, to touch those places in my subconscious that are always there, but so easily forgotten about, until it all comes flooding back. Even the taste in your mouth feels decades old.
I have been working more with my ancestors since pregnancy and birth, I feel it is my son's wish to connect more deeply with my blood roots. And having my babe here in this house, sent me reeling back in time. Feeling my great Grandfather's presence as I sat on his bed, gazing into the mirror on his dresser, just feeling. Hearing my Dad's childhood laughter and bright face, and the way my Baba moved her hands when she was still only Mother.
I breathed in deep all of this, to keep it and bring it back home. And now here, once again in the forest on Vancouver Island, I can feel how entwined I am to these places, as if my little girl self is listening, on the other side of our tin can connection, held by a taught thread, unseen, that transverses dimensions and timelines, into our one shared heartspace.
Art by Marietgie Henning